Within Boundaries

Several years back,Unexpectedly my life changed as I knew it. I had to learn to adapt to a knew way to live everyday.. and to except the change that I had no control of.  I began learning new things about people and the world…I started to become bitter, mean and full of blame. I would go to bed at night with so much hatred. Then one morning I woke up in a hospital bed, so vulnerable and needy. I was so ashamed that I was a burden to so many around me. I  felt embarrassed that I could be in this situation. As a began to recover, I realized I have to look at my life differently. I had so much despair..I had to become a change within. I wanted to find a place where I could see people differently, see where I fit in with people differently. I began to put myself in very vulnerable situations. Places where I really didn’t want to be. Everyday learning new things of people and of me. Knowing that I will not judge ever again..ever again.  and mostly not worrying about being Judged. Never again! I would not lose sleep about being angry hurt or distraught over things I can’t change , but awake everyday knowing I am doing everything I can do by doing, showing and saying the right things and trying to be as aware of everything around me. I live within boundaries now, that I know are safe and as free as I can make them…and yet everyday I have things enter my world that test me and try to affect me and I just keep knowing I have to just keep doing everything I can do to be the change within.

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