HERO DOGGIE

Every morning since 2008 he stood be the side of my bed after the sun can up until I awoke. He looked at me and gave me a little lick on my hand- I knew it was time to start my day.  Every step I took he followed directly be side me. I was mostly alone and often afraid, but after time I was reassured by my family that I had no worries Jimmie was here, he will take care of you.  He was truly my watchdog, my best friend, my guardian, my security, sometimes my eyes, sometimes my legs, sometimes my life line..not just my dog.  Several years back he was diagnosed with a form of cancer- I researched on how I could keep him healthy.. I changed his diet and lifestyle , to be more stress-free.he lived 3 more years , the vet told me he would maybe live 3 months….I cherished everyday.. I thanked  him every moment I could,,, hugged him and showed him constant gratitude…On February 12, 2016, He changed drastically, started hiding, stayed far away from me, only came to me if I called his name.. I knew he didn’t want me to know his weakness…. I felt so helpless, and wanted to die!..What would I do with out my Hero. That Sunday he died,,, he ran to the rainbow bridge….my life will never be the same…the emptiness is unbearable…I pray we connect someday….I loved that dog so much..I have a loc of his shiny brown hair and print of his gentle paw..forever…my hero, my doggie..thank you for being at my side I hear you …feel you…see you… everyday!
Beautifulness
My Best Dog!

I have PTSD…I feel like a freak today!…I can’t  concentrate..the world is spinning and I can’t breathe. I have to stop and close my eyes and know this is just today..like yesterday and the day before that…only if I could remember. I feel my normal today. but in the line of the “Movie Fifty First Dates” Hi my name is Bob its nice to meet you!..I meet a new me practically everyday..reading what I wrote from the day before: what I’m doing today,  so I don’t have to always ask everyone in my mixed up world-“What the hell is going on!?” I put in the perspective of what normal is, and then I some what maintain a day of being content, but constantly searching for betterment. A bit confusing in my world however, I keep going back to my saying. I must accept the world I have, I will not justify or prove my existence because of my inability to meet the needs of others because of me being different. I have to accept that. God is who I prove myself to and live for. He knows my perfections and my imperfections, and only him. I try to learn something new everyday, and step out of my micro-life! Be thankful today…for today!